|This is not Calligraphy.... this is FontsUFancy Calligraphy...|
Over the last few weeks I have been downloading as many fonts I can find on the internet, meaning that I now have an extensive font library for my wedding calligraphy clients to choose from, initial market research has proved positive [Mum and Auntie Violet think it's a good idea]. Handwritten envelopes are now a breeze to produce, I no longer have to worry about wonky 'a's' or terrible word spacing, and I can still charge £3.50 a pop.
Obviously I have needed help to get FontsUfancy up and running. My niece Charmaine has helpfully offered to work the printer, she is a resourceful young girl and is doing this with just one digit on her left hand leaving herself free to update Facebook with her right. Her BFF, Krystella, who is predicted to get a GCSE grade C in art this summer, is colouring in the lightly printed fonts using a blend of watercolour paint and felt-tips, when she tires of this I have granted her permission to play merry with the crayons. It will look fashionably arty and I doubt anyone will be any the wiser. Terrance [age 14 - only three inexplicable stains on his hoodie] is on loan from Carol next door, and has kindly offered to work the Twitter feed; he has had more success with this since I pointed out that the word is 'awesome' NOT 'whoresome', it is not his fault that he has a speech impediment and that he was taught to spell phonetically, nevertheless he has promised me 14,000 new followers by tomorrow teatime due to his flourishing relationship with party planner @Pamsbigfavours, and networking queen @100wayswithchaircovers - both have promised to feature FontsUfancy on their widely read blogs [300,000 new readers every hour according to their stats].
Meanwhile, Dave from down the pub is in charge of web design and copy; I have suggested that words and phrases such as 'professional', 'experienced', 'gorgeous yet affordable', be liberally used throughout... possibly in every other sentence, just to punch home just how experienced, professional, gorgeous yet affordable FontsUfancy really is in comparison to its competitors.
This may well be the end for Scarlet Blue Calligraphy, but please wish me well with this exciting new venture - should be all systems go by late April!!
First published on Scarlet Blue Calligraphy 07/03/2013