Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Let's Feel Good



It is official, the girls from Boots are no longer coming. They are no longer expected to flock together to single handedly produce Christmas from their stockings. They can relax in comfort wearing 367 hr deodorant and winged padded pants, leaving all Christmas preparation to young teenage Nick. Thankfully Boots have seen the error of their marketing ways, they have rescinded their 'girls only' policy and have finally flung their doors open to boys. Not men. Not yet. To be fair I think Boots have a point, I feel it might be a challenge to motivate fully grown men, after a lifetime of Xmas incapacity, into doing their own Christmas shopping. Boots are correct, the best idea is to catch men of the male persuasion at an early age, while they are still malleable enough to be taught how to take on the mantle of Christmas responsibility. The role model Boots have chosen is the charming young Nick, who is seen racing up April's Street, eager to deliver his sack load of goodies, and he does this all on foot, on his own, without any help from Rudolph the red nosed Rayleigh Bike, or even a stray green elf. Or his mum. We all hope that he is indeed a saint in the making. We all hope that Nick will grow up socially adept; gain a good maths degree; set up a direct debit to Macmillan Cancer Support; marry the lovely April [fittest girl in year 10]; generally have a lovely life and buy bigger presents. But, of course, this is the stuff of Christmas dreams - the time of year to believe that we are cuddly and snuggly and that all wrongs can righted with the purchase of perfumes and electrical goods. This is the season of goodwill and for not swearing at those who steal the last seat on the train when we are overburdened with shopping bags; this is the season for being able to cut someone up on the roundabout and not be threatened with a baseball bat; this is the season when we want to believe that we all love each other really.
Sadly, the most likely outcome is that come January 1st, our lovely young Nick [now skint and 2 stone heavier thanks to festive feasting] will be found auditioning for a part in the new Wonga advert, offering loans at 5853% APR to people who invested too deeply into the heavily televised orgy of Santa fuelled fantasy. People who simply wanted to feel a warm fuzzy glow will now be feeling the heat from a different sort of Nick.... from Saint Nick to Old Nick without leaving the sofa or changing the Chanel.
Now doesn't that make you feel good?

28 comments:

  1. Thank you for your blog gifts
    1. So nice to be thought of on your sidebar
    2. A pleasant comment from your visit to my blog always gives good cheer
    3. This post taught me a new Brit slang word - skint (might be a description I could apply come January)

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  2. Yes ! Let's embrace the lie and feel warmcozysnugglewaggle. Sadly I can't see the boots-girls and do not remember the spot, but I think I'd prefer the girls over Nick the Greek's great grandson ... who sadly did not inherit his great grandfather's contempt for money.

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  3. Yes, quite. However, I fear that master Nicholas's first priority as a healthy young man will indeed be to empty his sack on Christmas morning. And every morning, afternoon and evening for the rest of his male life, however not in the way in which you have been so kind enough to point us.

    In fact, it gives a whole new meaning to the rather audacious line "Here comes the girls..."

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  4. That's it. I've been persuaded to cease my aggressions on the #17. My fellow commuters/holidazzled package-bearing twits are safe from me for approximately three weeks.

    Pearl

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  5. I was worried this advert wouldn't be racially diverse. No problem.

    I didn't know that Boots even existed until I visited London about 10 years ago. I thought it the oddest name ever for a store and couldn't imagine what they sold. Now I know. A dreamscape.

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  6. I think I may have spotted a flaw...aren't young lads who wear hoodies rounded up by Mr.Plod and given a spanking because-they-might-be-terrorists-or-at-least-hooligans?

    But I do hope someone pops a nice little trinket in your stocking, Ms.Scarlet.

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  7. Sadly no video for me.
    Was it something I said?
    Have you given up paras?
    Or is blogger acting up again?

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  8. Ack, I can't see the video on my iPad either, Pat. I will have a tinker tomorrow.
    It was very silly of me to publish a post and then bugger off... I will be back tomorrow afternoon... it has suddenly dawned on me that I am supposed to be packing up a house, but first I must visit the beauty parlour.... priorities, priorities....
    Sx

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  9. (are you moving house again, sugar???)

    loved the commercial, it was swet. xoxoxox

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  10. Priorities indeed. We can't have the new neighbours thinking that Mary Chipperfield has regrouped and is now working from home.

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  11. As a fellow Nick, I like to think of him as Saint Nick. However the rest of the family refer to me as Old Nick. I think they are actually talking about my age. As my Granny would say, 'He's a lovely lad'

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  12. Oh Miss Scarlet... you do crack me up with "your spin" on the "spin doctors"...
    Up to now I always thought that Boots were a sensible pair of foorwear for sloshing about in the garden or a means to creating "that look" for a saucy night on the town. Apparently I'm mistaken.
    Tho Master Nick might look rather fetching in a pair of six inch heel thigh high patents...

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  13. Ah the wonderful Jimmy Sommerville. Great to see they've used a excellent song. Not sure what being a gay boy and running away from home has to do with the ad though.

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  14. I was in Boots today, the Christmas frenzy has well and truly begun and I haven't even started! Anyway, I've got 613 points on my Boots advantage card, what can I buy with that?

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  15. Bill: A pleasure to have you on my sidebar!
    And I can teach you plenty of Brit slang. I have my uses.

    Mr Mags: To be honest I was getting a little worn by the Girls tune... am quite enjoying the new Communards theme.

    Mr Files: I hope that Nick isn't the type to runaway after lightening his load.

    Pearl: Hello Pearl, good to see you back on the blogs!
    Over the Christmas period London commuters may offer up a vague smile, or say thank you to their fellow commuters. It has been known.

    Mr Pain: Firstly - Your comment box is not working! I have tried to leave a comment but your blog terminated me.
    I wish Boots sold boots. I would then visit more often.

    Dinah: I am having a whole house stuffed in my stocking...

    Pat: Paras? Paragraphs? Yes, I have given them up... but I will also blame Blogger for forcing me to give them up. I don't need them...writing proper sentences is difficult enough without also having to think of grouping them together and making some form of sense. I'm sure we can muddle through without them... it always worked in the past.

    Savvy: Yep, I'm moving again... but only down the road... and not to a bungalow.

    Mr Files: Have I over done it with the lip-liner again?

    Mr Bene: You are a jolly nice Nick... luckily it takes all kinds of Nicks to make a world... even the Nick Clegg kind.

    Princess: I am now going to have to look up the origins of the Boots name... I take these things for granted.

    Mr Joey: I was also puzzled by the song choice.... maybe it's referring to the choice we have regarding Christmas... we can either throw ourselves into it full throttle... or runnaway on a 2 week cruise and forget all about it.

    Mitzi: I am not sure what you can buy me with this number of points... I will leave the choice to you, I'm sure it will be lovely, and thank you!

    SXXXXX

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  16. Like Princess, I thought that boots were those things you wear on your feet LOL. I google it and it looks like a very nice place to go shopping.

    A very nice ad and great song. The Communards bring me back to a happy past... ;)

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  17. Fill your pockets up with stones, sweetie! Another storm is hitting Burdishland! Take care!

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  18. I feel good.
    I knew that I would now.
    :¬)

    xxx

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  19. I do not remember the Boots Girls thing - has my memory got that bad. i do wish they would send me some Imedeen, did wonders for my skin and usually I'm v. cynical about beauty glop and pills

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  20. Leni: I ignore the advert and sing along to the tune, as yes, it is very nostalgic.

    Ms Hipster: I am very lucky to live in the west of the United Burdish place, the one place to be completely unaffected by that massive storm. I woke up this morning to check that Norfolk, Suffolk, and Essex hadn't been reclaimed by the sea. They are still with us... but it looks pretty bad.

    Mr Cheen: I have played that tune on my sax in a pub... if you ever need a out of tune sax player, you know where I am.

    Jody: I am making a mental note to buy some Imedeen. It's either that or Diazepam and Vodka.

    Sxxx

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  21. I have fixed the link to the old link... so now it doesn't look like I'm talking complete nonsense... just normal nonsense :-)

    Sxxx

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  22. When I was in London, I bought some house brand dental floss at Boots.

    I really can't understand what the kid is saying in the Boots ad. Sorry.

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  23. Mr Lax: Just so long as you know what I am saying; this is all that matters!
    Btw, something finally is in the post for you... hopefully you will receive before Christmas.
    Sxxx

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  24. At first I was so confused. Boots? What's that? Then I watched the ad and realized, ah, Boots is in England, but we don't have anything like it here in Tennessee. Good ad, though.

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  25. Mr Buttocks!! Good to see you again!
    Sx

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  26. Right now, I'll take the cruise.

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  27. WHY can't I see any videos on Blogger today???? Are there country restrictions in place before the referendum?

    Anyhoos FIRST to wish you a Happy Boxing Day!
    x

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